Today I feel like a real writer

I’ve been a writer all my life. I’ve found joy in putting virtual pen to digital paper and sharing my most personal thoughts and daring on flights of fancy. Yet after all these years I’ve never felt that the enticing self description was fully reflected in reality.

Today that all changed.

Today I not only am a writer, but I feel like a writer too. I woke up early in the morning, exercised with a friend then took a short trip in to my office where I will work for a few hours before catching the return flight back to Seattle.

It’s a gorgeously clear day in Santa Monica, with a hint of a breeze that nips the suns rays away before they get a chance to settle. My body alternates between lusciously warm and almost uncomfortably chilly.

You see, my office is the beach, my work attire a cute black bikini, and my coworkers are the surfers and sun bathers than frequent the beautiful beach just a short walks away from the Santa Monica pier. The calming sounds of the waves paint an auditory backdrop matched only by the expanse of soft yellow sand and deep blue ocean.

It’s easy to draw inspiration from such a setting. To glance up at a couple wandering by, or a dad carrying a surfboard as he teaches his son to surf, and craft a story of their lives in my imagination. The shoreline is resplendent with opportunities to meld words into stories and fashion stories into lives that entice the intellect while tugging on the emotional heart strings.

I am blessed. Today is not the start of my writing, for I have written many a word before. Today doesn’t mark the first time I accept financial compensation for my creative endeavors, for I have found abundance in my work before. Today is the day that separates my dream of writing with the reality of a long and prosperous career as a writer.

For years I have held a dream deep in my heart. A dream that my life’s vocation as a writer would be fulfilled pouring out my talents where the sea and shore meet. Today is the start of that dream, and I thank the universe for opening this path. My spirit is nourished, and a prosperous future dawns ahead of me.

I can’t wait to get started.
I already have.

Writing is not easy, it’s effortless

I spent some time this afternoon examining my beliefs about writing. I’ve been wanting to spend my “working hours” writing for some time now – many years in fact – but before now I’d never been able to get past the point of beginning. Something subconsciously was holding me back – like a shadow from my dark past wrapping itself gently around my waist beckoning me to stay just out of the light’s intense glow.

What were my old beliefs about being a writer

I realized that there were old beliefs rattling around my head, filling me with all the reasons to hold on to my lucrative career in technology. Before I could move forward I would need to acknowledge these beliefs, and replace them with more empowering ones.

  • If I were to become a writer I would struggle, and not have enough money. We’ve seen it so often that by now it’s expected – the struggling writer who eventually gets a break and makes it big. The struggling writer who slaves for hours as a waitress, fiercely staving off fatigue to write one more page of her novel.
  • I don’t have any formal training, so I won’t know what to do or where to get started. Those struggling writers I just introduced you to were most likely English majors – people who had been trained to write. If they were struggling, how could I, a computer geek, hope to succeed?
  • I won’t know how to publish my book when it’s finally written. Instead of actually writing my book(s), I’m spending all this time worrying that I won’t be able to publish them. Already I’m getting exasperated by these old beliefs of mine – ridiculous boat anchors I’ve been trying to take with me in my carry-on luggage.
  • I’ll be lonely and isolated if I write for a living. This one amazes me, because I’m lonely and isolated now – I spend all my time at a job I don’t enjoy, and come home wiped out. The pay is great, but every time I invest myself in work I drain my life force to feed a vampire than can never be sated. my life force is sucked from me. Even if I weren’t lonely, I’d be soulless!
  • I won’t have the drive and follow-through – I’ll give up half way, and then where would I be? I imagine this is a real concern for many, but I’m snickering a bit as I read this. I completed college, moved half way around the world, worked at two of the top technology companies, and I’m worried that I don’t have the drive to succeed at writing? If you think about your life for a second, you’ll see how equally true this is. If you’re a mom – how much drive have you already shown to raise your kids in a good home? Just think for a moment about all the ways you’ve already shown the ability to follow-through – I know that’s what I’m going to be thinking!
  • I’ll knock my abundance off course and never be able to recover. This is the insidious cousin of my first worry that whispers to me, “Things are fi-ine, if you change something you’ll just screw it up and blow everything you’ve worked so hard for.” But if things we’re “fi-ine”, I wouldn’t have this hunger in my soul that I cannot satisfy by continuing to exist without writing.

What I believe now about being a writer

  • I’m a great writer – many people have already told me so – I don’t need an English degree to succeed as a writer. In fact I’m blessed to have a diverse set of experiences to draw upon to enrich my writing.
  • I know what to do – in fact I’m already doing it with almost no effort – just imagine what I could do if I actually worked at it!
  • I’ve got drive, determination and follow-through. I’ve accomplished some amazing things in my life, and writing is no different.
  • Writing is my passion – when I follow my passion the universe can’t help but open up with abundance – financially, emotionally and in my relationships.
  • Writing will draw me closer to other people because I’ll finally be living my identity.
  • I have a tremendous set of skills, an abundance of preparation – both financially and emotionally to succeed as a writer. Being a writer won’t divert my abundance off course, but divert the tributary of my success into a rushing torrent of abundance!
  • Every moment I don’t write is a moment when my life song is fading. If I don’t make a change NOW my life song will disappear forever.

I’m at a point now where I can’t help but write – writing is the oxygen I breathe, the oxygen/hydrogen mixture I drink and the more complex chemical compound – I won’t even try to describe – that I eat.

Being a writer isn’t easy – it’s effortless.

Keep Writing

Newton’s first law states, “The velocity of a body remains constant unless acted on my an external force.” It’s worth considering this law when you embark on your writing career. The effect of inertia is one I am all too familiar with.

Don't let inertia steal your writing dreams

Don't let inertia steal your writing dreams

At the beginning of a project I am excited, and pour all my energy into it. Not a day goes by without me thinking about it, or doing something to bring it closer to fulfillment. Then somewhere along the way I decide, “Taking a few days off won’t hurt.” Before I know it, a few days has turned to a few weeks, a few weeks to a few months. Eventually I can barely remember what I was doing, let alone pick up the and carry on.

Writing projects in particular need momentum to keep moving forward. Getting a novel back in motion once it has stopped is an arduous and difficult task. I know the feeling of flow will come back if I can just write a few hundred words. Even then I find excuses to keep my writing apps closed.

Writing a novel can seem like a daunting task. It’s difficult to separate out one page from the novel, and just complete it in isolation. In my mind the entire book seems to grow. I see every plot twist stretching out in front of me, and I get overwhelmed. When this happens I can’t tackle the novel – it’s too big for me. But I need to keep writing.

The novelists best friend

A blog is a fantastic tool you can use to encourage yourself to keep writing. You don’t need to create length discourse, or complicated story arcs. Just write a few words. You don’t need to polish it, or get a copy editor to go through it before sharing. Just publish it. You can write a blog and just let the words flow onto the page. You can train your writing muscle back into shape if it has been neglected, or do those extra warm ups before the big game.

I maintain a number of different blogs for the various interests I have. From technology to personal fulfillment. This allows me to keep writing, even when my interests wander from topic to topic. I don’t always feel like writing about a certain subject. In fact, at times the very thought of writing on a topic is enough for me to close my laptop. By having variety I’m able to not only keep going, but explore and learn many new things about myself and about this life.

The challenge

My challenge, as I embark on this project, is to keep writing. To write something every day. Some days it will be here, on Melted Words. Others it will be on another blog, or a page for my novel. This is my challenge, and also my commitment to you – whether a dear reader and friend or the faceless Internet. Thank you for joining me on this journey!

The Journey of a Thousand Miles

It’s said that the journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tire. Perhaps this is an homage to the difficulty faced when beginning any new venture. The unknown yawns before us with tantalizing promise and fearful questioning. Committing to an outcome takes bold courage – it means leaving the safety of the certain and casting our hopes like stardust on the path of life.

This post is the beginning of my voyage to unlock who I am, to let the untrained music of my melody reverberate through the mountain peaks and sift through the tree tops. I look longingly back at my certainty. A good job. No, a great job – a job that millions would love to have, at a company that lavishes blessings on those in their employ. Yet like gold-encrusted chains I can feel the yoke of abundance strangling me – forcing my soul to dance like a marionette to a tune I never really cared for.

There are words burning in my chest. Words that must be freed or else my very being will glow ablaze and turn to ashes. They call inside of me, “Set me free”. They scream in anguish, “Our song is dying”. Their cacophony compels me to act. To turn my eyes towards the worn and rocky path ahead and claim with all the passion inside me:

I am a writer! I must write!

I love writing. It fuels my spirit, whenever I write I enter a state of flow, where time passes effortlessly. Writing allows me to contribute my love, compassion and ideas in a way that touches hundreds of thousands, even millions of people. It is my life song, it is one of the reasons I was created. Words burn within me, they must escape or I will perish.

This blog will chronicle my journey – from a technologist who longs to be a writer, to a writer who lives her greatest passion every day. Along the way I’ll share mistakes I make, frustrations I overcome and learning that moves me forward.

I am most grateful to the friends who have encouraged me to seek my true passion – you have planted within me the seed of blessing that will bear fruit for many years to come.